I think I'd better start by explaining up front that I'm probably going to have
to reduce the frequency of my posts. Unfortunately, there are only twenty-four
hours in each of my days (or so I'm told), and into those hours I also have to
fit rather a lot of other things (writing my next book, trying to sell the last
one, renovating an old house, being a husband/father, trying to find a job, and
countless other things - and not necesarily in that order).
Blogger lets
me see how many views my blogs are getting, so I have a pretty good idea how
popular/lacking in popularity they are - I have two blogs here (this one plus
my Ravensgold Books one) and an Author Blog on the excellent Goodreads
website. There has been a constant trickle of views over the last month to my
two Blogger sites, but it appears that I have a small number of interested
individuals (and thank you if you're one of them) who return every so often to
read my new posts. I'd love to keep posting every couple of days, but I just
can't sustain that level, given the other priorities I have to manage as well.
If you are one of the interested ones then I hope you will still continue to
find posts here to entertain/inform you, even if they are less frequent than
before.
Being new to blogging (and not having followed any myself before)
I don't know whether it's normal not to receive any comments on your blog. When I started The Trenchfoote Legacy blog it was with the specific intention of encouraging reader participation), and if no one has comments to make
then that's fine, but without feedback I can't tell whether what I'm posting is
of any real interest. So if you do want The Trenchfoote Legacy blog to continue then please feel free to give me feedback (join in - tell me if you see Trenchfoote when you're out for the day, let me know if you hear about what he's planning, if you've been one of his victims in the past then share it with us), and perhaps tell your friends about this blog - the more the merrier...
And what has Trenchfoote been up to over the last few days? Well, as anticipated he and Bolt are pretty angry at having their bank job scuppered. Worse still (but equally predictably) they have worked out that one of the attendees of their meeting must be a mole - I'm just hoping that they'll be keen to remain inconspicuous and so won't come looking for me! All the same, I'm wondering if it might be wise to go away for a while - untill the trail goes cold.
Anyway, I'm not so naive as to think that they'll just give up now - they'll come up with a new money-making scam and sooner or later they'll be in a position to have their revenge. So if you hear of anything suspicious then don't keep it to yourself!
Saturday 21 July 2012
Tuesday 17 July 2012
Banking on trouble...
Well, as you can tell, I live to tell the tale!
So, did I manage to get to the meeting? Yes I did, and I'll tell all in a minute, but first let me explain how I was able to find Scarrott's Elbow. As you'll know (if you've read The Testing of Archie Rathbone) Bolt, Upright & Clench have their shop in Scarrott's Elbow in London, but only existing customers can find it. Doesn't seem a particularly good marketing approach I'd say, but then who am I to question these things!
Anyway, it occurred to me that all I needed to do was to write a short passage in which I receive some small thing from the tailors (in this case, a pair of socks), and that would make me an existing customer! And guess what - it worked!
So, last Sunday I went off in search of their shop. I couldn't tell you how I found it, but I did. I had the passage from the book to go on - where Archie and Emma first go to Scarrott's Elbow together - but it proved a little vague at certain key points. For some reason though, even though I seemed to be wandering aimlessley I suddenly found myself at the entrance to a street with a stone gargoyle set into the wall, and I realised I must be getting near. Five minutes later, there was the sign on the wall. Scarrott's Elbow was creepy enough - all gothic gloom and sinister shadows, but the closer I got to the premises of Messrs Bolt, Upright & Clench the more uneasy I felt.
I'd prepared for the likelihood that someone would challenge me as to why I felt particularly agrieved (the whole pretext of the meeting after all). I felt I couldn't really tell them who I was (in case they decided that I was the ultimate cause of their problems), so instead I invented a new identity: Roger Tickle, slighted ex-boyfriend of Emma Trout, and bitterly resentful of Archie Rathbone. If pressed, I intended to claim to have escaped from the book as well, and just hoped I wouldn't be asked how I'd managed it (after all, I still don't know how Bolt and Trenchfoote escaped yet)!
I don't know what I was expecting to find when I entered the Tailors' shop, but I was completely unprepared for what I found. It wasn't the building itself - that was just as I'd imagined it. No, it was the motley collection of ruffians and nefarious characters assembled there that caught me by surprise. You name it, they were there - disgraced merchant bankers, commodities brokers, traffic wardens. There were self-confessed burglars (colleagues of Trenchfoote no doubt), pick-pockets, and of course several examples of the lower forms of estate agent and second-hand car dealer. But what left me weak at the knees and whimpering to myself in a corner was seeing Bolt and Trenchfoote in the flesh (or feather, in Trenchfoote's case).
Oh sure, I'd seen Trenchfoote only a few days before, but he hadn't been aware of me at the time. Standing in that Tailors' shop under his pearcing gaze left me feeling that my inner-most thoughts must be tattooed on my forehead. Seeing Bolt was far worse though. Some of the shock must have been as a result of setting eyes on an individual I'd previously only seen with my mind's eye. When I'd written The Testing of Archie Rathbone his vile character had seeped from my finger-tips and into the book, and left me feeling slightly unclean afterwards. He was short, wizened and had glistening eyes that were utterly without mercy - the sort that gave glistening eyes a bad name.
Anyway, let's just say that mine was not a comfortable place to be!
Well, eventually they got down to business - discussing their grievances and what they might do about them. It soon became clear that this was not a democracy - Bolt and Trenchfoote were going to have their way, and anyone who wanted to join them would have to fall into line. I was surprised at how Bolt allowed Trenchfoote to take the lead, but then Bolt was never a leader.
In the end though, they agreed that before they can conceive their grand plan they must first secure the necessary funds. With the help of those with specialist skills in that area, they intend to liberate a large amont of money from a very high-profile bank (which I shall not name). Needless to say, I have informed the authorities anonymously, but I know enough of Bolt and Trenchfoote not to believe that they will be so easily foiled.
What will they do next I wonder? And how can I find out, without being found out myself...?
So, did I manage to get to the meeting? Yes I did, and I'll tell all in a minute, but first let me explain how I was able to find Scarrott's Elbow. As you'll know (if you've read The Testing of Archie Rathbone) Bolt, Upright & Clench have their shop in Scarrott's Elbow in London, but only existing customers can find it. Doesn't seem a particularly good marketing approach I'd say, but then who am I to question these things!
Anyway, it occurred to me that all I needed to do was to write a short passage in which I receive some small thing from the tailors (in this case, a pair of socks), and that would make me an existing customer! And guess what - it worked!
So, last Sunday I went off in search of their shop. I couldn't tell you how I found it, but I did. I had the passage from the book to go on - where Archie and Emma first go to Scarrott's Elbow together - but it proved a little vague at certain key points. For some reason though, even though I seemed to be wandering aimlessley I suddenly found myself at the entrance to a street with a stone gargoyle set into the wall, and I realised I must be getting near. Five minutes later, there was the sign on the wall. Scarrott's Elbow was creepy enough - all gothic gloom and sinister shadows, but the closer I got to the premises of Messrs Bolt, Upright & Clench the more uneasy I felt.
I'd prepared for the likelihood that someone would challenge me as to why I felt particularly agrieved (the whole pretext of the meeting after all). I felt I couldn't really tell them who I was (in case they decided that I was the ultimate cause of their problems), so instead I invented a new identity: Roger Tickle, slighted ex-boyfriend of Emma Trout, and bitterly resentful of Archie Rathbone. If pressed, I intended to claim to have escaped from the book as well, and just hoped I wouldn't be asked how I'd managed it (after all, I still don't know how Bolt and Trenchfoote escaped yet)!
I don't know what I was expecting to find when I entered the Tailors' shop, but I was completely unprepared for what I found. It wasn't the building itself - that was just as I'd imagined it. No, it was the motley collection of ruffians and nefarious characters assembled there that caught me by surprise. You name it, they were there - disgraced merchant bankers, commodities brokers, traffic wardens. There were self-confessed burglars (colleagues of Trenchfoote no doubt), pick-pockets, and of course several examples of the lower forms of estate agent and second-hand car dealer. But what left me weak at the knees and whimpering to myself in a corner was seeing Bolt and Trenchfoote in the flesh (or feather, in Trenchfoote's case).
Oh sure, I'd seen Trenchfoote only a few days before, but he hadn't been aware of me at the time. Standing in that Tailors' shop under his pearcing gaze left me feeling that my inner-most thoughts must be tattooed on my forehead. Seeing Bolt was far worse though. Some of the shock must have been as a result of setting eyes on an individual I'd previously only seen with my mind's eye. When I'd written The Testing of Archie Rathbone his vile character had seeped from my finger-tips and into the book, and left me feeling slightly unclean afterwards. He was short, wizened and had glistening eyes that were utterly without mercy - the sort that gave glistening eyes a bad name.
Anyway, let's just say that mine was not a comfortable place to be!
Well, eventually they got down to business - discussing their grievances and what they might do about them. It soon became clear that this was not a democracy - Bolt and Trenchfoote were going to have their way, and anyone who wanted to join them would have to fall into line. I was surprised at how Bolt allowed Trenchfoote to take the lead, but then Bolt was never a leader.
In the end though, they agreed that before they can conceive their grand plan they must first secure the necessary funds. With the help of those with specialist skills in that area, they intend to liberate a large amont of money from a very high-profile bank (which I shall not name). Needless to say, I have informed the authorities anonymously, but I know enough of Bolt and Trenchfoote not to believe that they will be so easily foiled.
What will they do next I wonder? And how can I find out, without being found out myself...?
Friday 13 July 2012
The Last Post?
I take it you've seen the advert in the LMS (below)?
Well, I'm not quite sure how I'm going to manage it yet, but if at all possible I'm going to try to smuggle myself into that meeting, and I'll let you know what I find out.
No further sightings of Trenchfoote that I'm aware of, but don't let that fool you. He must suspect that his advert will have been spotted and he'll need to keep a low profile. He and Bolt will be banking on the fact that it's going to be almost impossible for most people to find Scarrott's Elbow, and he's got good reason to be confident about that. What he isn't taking into account though is that I've thought of a way of finding it. I'll tell you more about that next time - if there is a next time...
Sorry for the short post only I've got to make preparations. If everything goes quiet (no more posts) then you'll know what's happened!
Well, I'm not quite sure how I'm going to manage it yet, but if at all possible I'm going to try to smuggle myself into that meeting, and I'll let you know what I find out.
No further sightings of Trenchfoote that I'm aware of, but don't let that fool you. He must suspect that his advert will have been spotted and he'll need to keep a low profile. He and Bolt will be banking on the fact that it's going to be almost impossible for most people to find Scarrott's Elbow, and he's got good reason to be confident about that. What he isn't taking into account though is that I've thought of a way of finding it. I'll tell you more about that next time - if there is a next time...
Sorry for the short post only I've got to make preparations. If everything goes quiet (no more posts) then you'll know what's happened!
Wednesday 11 July 2012
The Gathering Announced...
London Morning Standard
July 11th 2012Classified:
Nigel P Trenchfoote wishes it to be known that a meeting is to be held at the premises of Messrs Bolt, Upright & Clench (Mr Bolt attending) on Sunday 15th, to discuss grievances arising from the actions of the following;
- Messrs Upright & Clench
- ALIRTS and members thereof
- Mr Archibald Rathbone
- Crabs (and similar crustaceans)
Bring sandwiches.
Friday 6 July 2012
A twist of the Bolt
I really shouldn't be surprised that this has happened - given that I have no idea how Trenchfoote escaped from the pages of my book, why should I raise an eyebrow now? Perhaps it's just simple denial.
What's happened, you ask? Bolt - that's what's happened!
You see, despite Trenchfoote's experiences at the hands of the Tailors (see The Testing of Archie Rathbone), he really only seems to have held a grudge against Upright and Clench. Bolt seems to have managed to strike up a friendship with him over the years (something of a novelty for both of them one would imagine) - it's why he was involved in the whole Archie Rathbone business in the first place - Bolt needed his services.
Anyway, Bolt, Upright & Clench were believed to be beyond reach - at least that's where I left them - but somehow, Trenchfoote's managed to get Bolt - not only get him, but release him from the book. That's right! He's out! At the end of my last post I said I wished I knew how to find Scarrot's Elbow - well it now looks as though Trenchfoote did, and he found something there that allowed him to release Bolt...
There's no knowing what those two will get up to now. It doesn't bear thinking about. What's more, Trenchfoote must have a plan otherwise why go to the trouble? I can only assume that he left London to try to lay low for a while, then to return when he was convinced he wasn't being watched, and to release his ghastly friend.
But what are they plotting? And what's to be done about it?
What's happened, you ask? Bolt - that's what's happened!
You see, despite Trenchfoote's experiences at the hands of the Tailors (see The Testing of Archie Rathbone), he really only seems to have held a grudge against Upright and Clench. Bolt seems to have managed to strike up a friendship with him over the years (something of a novelty for both of them one would imagine) - it's why he was involved in the whole Archie Rathbone business in the first place - Bolt needed his services.
Anyway, Bolt, Upright & Clench were believed to be beyond reach - at least that's where I left them - but somehow, Trenchfoote's managed to get Bolt - not only get him, but release him from the book. That's right! He's out! At the end of my last post I said I wished I knew how to find Scarrot's Elbow - well it now looks as though Trenchfoote did, and he found something there that allowed him to release Bolt...
There's no knowing what those two will get up to now. It doesn't bear thinking about. What's more, Trenchfoote must have a plan otherwise why go to the trouble? I can only assume that he left London to try to lay low for a while, then to return when he was convinced he wasn't being watched, and to release his ghastly friend.
But what are they plotting? And what's to be done about it?
Wednesday 4 July 2012
The Mystery Deepens
It had never occurred to me until this morning that I'd never actually seen Trenchfoote until now - not in the flesh (so to speak). I suppose if I'd known that our paths were going to cross and that I would see him, however fleetingly, then I imagine I would have built up some sort of expectation, but not as it happened. One moment I was strolling absent-mindedly up Regent Street, (doing my best not to be trampled under the hooves of the morning London stampede) and then there he was. To have covered the distance from Bury Saint Edmunds to London since he was last spotted, I can only assume that he must have hitched a lift, but then again, perhaps he just flew.
I suppose anyone else wouldn't have given him a second look - perching there on top of a red London post box, but that imperious eyebrow (which of course I gave him) is quite unique, and thoroughly unnerving when levelled right at you! The irony of that meeting though is that Trenchfoote didn't recognise me. Why should he? This does have the advantage that as yet he doesn't realise that his whereabouts are known - he is no longer skulking in East Anglia, and instead is skulking in London!
But where is he headed, and why?
He may feel that he has some scores to settle (though not with me I hope...), but it's equally likely that he is plotting something - let's not forget that burglary is his preferred modus operandum.
Anyway, having frozen at the sight of the ruffian I could only stand and stare at him. He withstood this for a while but then tired of my scrutiny. He ruffled his feathers, uttered a fishy squawk and then leapt into the air. I watched him until he disappeared from sight over the rooftops to the west.
I suppose anyone else wouldn't have given him a second look - perching there on top of a red London post box, but that imperious eyebrow (which of course I gave him) is quite unique, and thoroughly unnerving when levelled right at you! The irony of that meeting though is that Trenchfoote didn't recognise me. Why should he? This does have the advantage that as yet he doesn't realise that his whereabouts are known - he is no longer skulking in East Anglia, and instead is skulking in London!
But where is he headed, and why?
He may feel that he has some scores to settle (though not with me I hope...), but it's equally likely that he is plotting something - let's not forget that burglary is his preferred modus operandum.
Anyway, having frozen at the sight of the ruffian I could only stand and stare at him. He withstood this for a while but then tired of my scrutiny. He ruffled his feathers, uttered a fishy squawk and then leapt into the air. I watched him until he disappeared from sight over the rooftops to the west.
If only I knew how to find it, I'd go to Scarrot's Elbow, to the Tailors' shop - it's just possible he feels he has some unfinished business there...
Monday 2 July 2012
The Psychology of Trenchfoote
I see from this morning's papers that those two petty criminals from Dribbling-in-the Marsh have already been up in front of a Judge. Any tendency His Honour might have had toward leniency was understandably offset by these characters' refusal (or inability) to identfy the ring-leader responsible for planning their Post Office raid. Worse still (for them at least), their insistence that the mastermind behind the raid was a Herring Gull was interpretted by the Judiciary as blatant Contempt of Court, as a result of which Albert 'Knuckles' Battersby and Terrence 'Bra and Panties' Lampwick will both now be guests of Her Majesty for quite a while...
But what of Trenchfoote? I hear you ask...
Well, sources affiliated to the Amalgamated Slug Fanciers and Snail Polishers Union (with whom I am on cordial terms) claim to have spotted the arch-criminal picking over a discarded chicken vindaloo in a village just outside Bury Saint Edmunds.
Let's consider the psychology of this bird: He first took his current form as a result of inadvisedly crossing paths with Messrs Bolt, Upright & Clench (Tailors to the discerning since 1746). It was during this period that he developed a deep and enduring hatred of crabs (for further explanation, please refer to The Testing of Archie Rathbone). He was obviously possessed of a criminal mind prior to this event, however the experience seems to have unhinged him. During the succeeding four decades his natural antisocial tendencies seem to have matured into full-blown sociopathy. Apart from crabs, we know that he is hostile towards the Tailors (Bolt, Upright & Clench), and is also understood not to think too highly of the forces of law and order. Quite what his feelings are towards Mr Archie Rathbone is unclear. Similarly, the agents of ALIRTS.
Hence, whether Trenchfoote is just aimlessly roaming the countryside of eastern England, or whether his current activity is a carefully planned prelude to his next abominable crime may become clearer as time passes. Meanwhile, I can only urge you all to remain vigilant!
But what of Trenchfoote? I hear you ask...
Well, sources affiliated to the Amalgamated Slug Fanciers and Snail Polishers Union (with whom I am on cordial terms) claim to have spotted the arch-criminal picking over a discarded chicken vindaloo in a village just outside Bury Saint Edmunds.
Let's consider the psychology of this bird: He first took his current form as a result of inadvisedly crossing paths with Messrs Bolt, Upright & Clench (Tailors to the discerning since 1746). It was during this period that he developed a deep and enduring hatred of crabs (for further explanation, please refer to The Testing of Archie Rathbone). He was obviously possessed of a criminal mind prior to this event, however the experience seems to have unhinged him. During the succeeding four decades his natural antisocial tendencies seem to have matured into full-blown sociopathy. Apart from crabs, we know that he is hostile towards the Tailors (Bolt, Upright & Clench), and is also understood not to think too highly of the forces of law and order. Quite what his feelings are towards Mr Archie Rathbone is unclear. Similarly, the agents of ALIRTS.
Hence, whether Trenchfoote is just aimlessly roaming the countryside of eastern England, or whether his current activity is a carefully planned prelude to his next abominable crime may become clearer as time passes. Meanwhile, I can only urge you all to remain vigilant!
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